I found this print by Lori Weitzel on pinterest and had to put it up. Isn’t this the truth? I deal with my mind every single day. It likes to justify and convince me that my bad habits are survival. That I need to eat until I can’t move or until I’m sick. That it’s just this one time, tomorrow I will be good. It’s as though food is oxygen and even though I’ve had enough, it wants more. And every time I turn it down and say no, the bully gets weaker. I imagine it takes a very long time for the bully to play a very small part in my life. So small, that he won’t even make it to the end credits.

I’ve made a list of all the reasons why I don’t want to eat too much food. This list is best written after eating too much, because for me, it’s more true and it hits harder. This list is helpful for when the bully or the lower brain works with me to justify making me sick. It tells me I’ve earned it, that I’ve had a bad day or that I’m not worth the trouble. It tells me that food will smooth things over and make everything uncomfortable go away.

One thing on my list is how dramatically different I feel. When I’ve had just enough food, I feel like I can do anything. I feel hopeful, excited, and optimistic. When I eat too much food I feel depressed, moody and hopeless. It feels as though the earth will open up and swallow me. It feels like I will never make anything great happen. Knowing the truth helps me to ignore the bully, it makes me stronger.

What’s on your list?

I’m going to go ahead and congratulate myself again for prepping vegetables last night. It was late, I was tried and so ready for bed, but I convinced myself to cut up all the vegetables anyway. Thank you self. I was able to throw this salad together in about five minutes. Spinach, cherry tomatoes, red cabbage, green onions, cauliflower, monterey jack, cucumber, one egg and couple of pan-fried slices of polenta.

And then the dressing, oh the dressing. Let me just come clean once and for all: I’m a creamy dressing person. Blame it on my West Virginia upbringing if you will, but I love ranch dressing. That love runs deep. And while I do like the occasional homemade vingrette, my heart and soul truly wants creamy dressing. And because I don’t always have ranch on hand, this is a good thing, I decided to make something up.

Creamy Salsa Dressing

1 T sour cream, 1/2 T mayonnaise, and 2-3 T homemade salsa. Mix it up, toss it with your fixings and behold, a better alternative to ranch. I love it so much that I could dedicate myself to a salad every single day.

I also had a serving of trail mix for a snack. Trail mix is hilarious. Have you seen what a serving looks like?

This was my first time cooking with pre-made polenta and I really enjoyed the added texture and flavor in my salad. I have a whole polenta log left, any idea as to what I should make with it?

Good morning! Can you tell beets made a special appearance in my juice today? I love the bright red color! Last night I did something that I always intend to do, but never actually do. I prepped all the vegetables so they would be ready for easy eating or cooking. I even prepared several sandwiches and boiled some eggs. I’m also working on a whole chicken and a big batch of brown rice and quinoa to eat on during the week. Why have I not done this before?

I put everything for my juice in a plastic salad container last night so that this morning all I had to do was pull it out of the refrigerator, cut the apples, peel the lemon and start juice. I had juice and the juicer cleaned in less than five minutes. Why do these simple things in life make me feel so accomplished? I’ll never know.

I had this big(ish) post planned for today, that would go into the details of how things are going and what I’m doing and how I’m doing, but then I realized what better way to show than tell? I’m not the best at articulating things that seem abstract in my head.

But, to sum it up. After reading Brain Over Binge, I emailed the author, Kathryn Hansen. I’ve never emailed an author and wasn’t expecting a response, but sure enough, not long after my first email she replied. And then she replied again to another email filled with questions.

And while I was forming the questions and reading her response, I realized something totally and completely obvious: The process is personal.

Katheryn talks in-depth about her life post-binge. A life that is very similar to her normal eating patterns before she ever began dieting in her early teens which lead to anorexia and then bulimia (binge eating with extreme exercise). Kathryn knew about normal eating, she knew what it felt like and could call upon those feelings. Those feelings helped her to tell the difference between a binge urge and just a normal human urge to eat a little more, seconds or dessert. For her, snacking, eating without hunger and occasionally overeating are all normal. She’s also never been overweight or obese. Needing to lose weight complicates the process more for people like me.

And this is where my journey branches off.

I don’t know what it feels like to eat normally as a default. I know what it looks like and can identify what an acceptable portions is. I can recall hiding food at a very young age and because of this, I don’t have a lot of experience to draw upon to tell the difference between binge eating and “normal” eating. For me, eating without hunger, while normal on occasion for someone like Kathryn, signals to my brain that I’m in overeating mode. Eating seconds, eating between meals, and most importantly eating without hunger, all indicate that I’m off track. This thought process leads to overeating or binge eating.

For Kathryn, she has a hard time telling the difference between true hunger and urges. I don’t. I’m very aware of the difference between eating for true hunger and not. Eating without that true feeling of hunger, for me, is following my “lower voice”. That’s not to say this always isn’t the case or that there aren’t exceptions, but it’s just something I’m avoiding using Kathryn’s methods.

Occasionally people will say to me that I need to eat xyz or not eat xyz or that I need to eat several times throughout the day. And all I can say it, this is why it’s so important for me not to put what works for me onto other people. For me, eating a handful of cherries while making dinner is okay. Eating a handful of potato chips is not. Eating six meals a day because someone tells me a should, even though I’m not hungry, is not okay to me, only because it signals an urge to continue eating. Eating without hunger is like telling myself “you blew it! eat more!” And that’s my pattern.

Kathryn’s Response:

This is one of the reasons why I mentioned in my book that some people may want to use meal plans (and possibly consult a nutritionist) at first, if they truly feel like they don’t know how to eat normally without binge eating.  I didn’t give much advice directly to the reader (I primarily explained my own story and ideas) in the book because I’m not in a position to give specific medical advice, but that’s one thing I felt was important to include. You have to do what you think will be best for you, and if that includes no unplanned eating and/or no extra servings and/or no small snacks of less-than-healthy food; I think that makes sense. I referred to something similar to this in the last chapter of the book under the subheading “Bridge to Addiction Therapy,” saying that someone could get rid of all problematic foods for a while, then gradually add them back if they want them in their diet.  For you, you could avoid all non-hungry eating for a while, and then – when you feel more confident – gradually start giving yourself some more flexibility.

In my past, another slice of cake always signaled that I was out of control, or would soon be. Even if it was just another portion of something, I’ve always used that as an excuse to eat more. It seems that for me, when I eat when I’m not hungry, I’m giving myself a free pass to binge or to eat too much. This sort of black and white thinking is my pattern.

I’m in a place where I want to eat well because I’m trying to get a lot done. If food weighs me down or makes me feel bad, I become foggy and start putting things off.

Yesterday for example, was a good day of eating :

Woke up slight hungry so I ate a green apple and drank some coffee. I rarely drink coffee, but I followed the craving. A few hours later I ate a spinach salad with salsa, a couple of homemade corn chips crumbled on top, a little shredded turkey and a few cherry tomatoes.

I felt good, satisfied and full.

Around dinner time Josh took me out to Mexican where I had a few corn chips and we shared the chicken fajita dinner for one. I ate a small plate of the salad, guacamole, chicken and vegetables. I was full and satisfied.

And that’s one day, each day is different, but it was successful for me (emphasis one me) because 1) I didn’t overeat 2) I didn’t eat when I wasn’t truly hungry 3) I ate what my body wanted 4) I ate until satisfied and because of this I felt 1) clean 2) productive 3) healthy 4) satisfied.

Everyday is different. Some mornings I may wake up and just want a raw juice, while others nothing else will satisfy me like whole wheat toast, eggs and bacon. Other lunches may be a giant salad, or a burger or Indian food. Dinner may be sushi, or steamed vegetables, or a couple of slices of pizza. All of these decisions are okay with me. I feel good as long as I’m not eating too much.

For me, at this stage, eating without hunger, overeating and binge eating are all one in the same. They may look slightly different, but the root is very much the same. It’s how I can tell if the urge is a habit or a true need.

I want my food choices to be because they make me feel good. Raw juice and a turkey sandwich for breakfast this morning fuels me and makes me feel good. It’s not perfect. I’m not going to eat six meals a day just because it’s suggested or because it works for someone else.

The other balance is cooking and preparing food when I’m not actually hungry, in anticipation. I’m planning meals and having things ready to eat. I have a clear idea of what I want to eat and making it easily accessible is key.

So I’m curious, how is your journey different from mine? Does anything trigger old or bad habits for you?

Click Photo For Etsy Shop

I have a big post in the works titled “Why It’s Personal” and all the things I’ve been learning and experiencing in the past couple of weeks since reading Brain Over Binge. I will also explain some of the methods I’m implementing and my goals.

February is looking good! This month I’m working on a Spring Wear it Well e-course to come out March 5th. I’ve got six new models of all size ranges and styles lined up to be featured in the book, plus 175+ pages of information that can actually be applied to your closet as-is. This is most exciting to me, sometimes I feel like magazines only feature clothes that are not very wearable or way too expensive. My goal is to provide real-life solutions for wearing and transforming what we already have and new ways to go shopping.

I have an amazing pancake recipe for you all. Grain free, dairy free and no added sugar. Just 4 simple ingredients and they taste out of this world!

They are super easy to make though if you’re making a large stack, they can be a little time consuming but I assure you they are totally worth the effort!

Banana & Coconut Pancakes

Makes 7-8 pancakes

Ingredients:

2 ripe bananas
3 large eggs (I like Omega 3 eggs)
4 tbsp unsweetened coconut
Coconut Oil

Chop the bananas into chunks and add to a food processor. Break in the eggs and whizz until the banana has blended with the eggs. Add in the coconut and blend until the mixture forms a thick batter consistency.

Heat a frying pan over a low heat and add in 1tsp coconut oil…

Once melted, pour in a small amount of batter…

Cook over a low heat until the bottom has firmed. Carefully flip the pancake and cook the other side…

You will need to add a little more coconut oil to the pan before cooking each pancake.  Once cooked, keep warm in the oven until all other pancakes are cooked.

We ate them plain as they are delicious as they are and we are dairy & sugar free. However, you could add some toppings such as maple syrup, greek yoghurt with berries & chopped nuts, chocolate spread, almond butter & sliced banana – the possibilities are endless!

If you decide to make them, give me a shout and let me know how they turn out.  Happy eating!

?2012 JAG's Fitness Blog. All Rights Reserved.

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I have a new love…

Don’t tell Josh, but it’s starting to get serious. These cremini (crimini?) mushrooms are downright life changing. I like to say pretty much all things that I love are life changing, but these guys are dear to my heart. They are so rich and satisfying. That umami flavor does it for me. And cats too apparently.

I can’t tell you when I first tried mushrooms, but I’ve know about this love for awhile now. I grew up with a mushroom (and egg!) hating mom who I can confirm would never serve mushrooms to me as per my previous post. One day I’m going to get her to love mushrooms. One day mom, just you wait!

If you too love mushrooms then this very quick and easy recipe is for you!

Ingredients: 

brown butter mushrooms: 5 C. chopped cremini mushrooms, 1 t. salt, 2 T butter

creamy noodles: half package of egg noodles (4 C. cooked), 1/4 C. sour cream, 1 T butter, 1/4 t. salt, 1 t garlic powder, 1 T dried parsley (plus more for garnish), 1/2 C. chopped provolone

Directions:

Prepare egg noodles according to the package instructions. Drain and set aside.

Wash and dry mushrooms and set aside. Heat butter in a large skillet until it begins to turn brown or a light amber color. Add mushrooms to the pan, careful not to overcrowd them. Add salt and stir. Cook until tender.

Put noodles back in the pot on medium heat. Add butter, sour cream, salt, garlic powder, and parsley to the noodles. Stir until the butter is melted and the noodles are heated thoroughly.

Place noodles on a large serving platter and top with provolone cheese. Add mushrooms to the top of the noodles and garnish with parsley. Serve with a side salad and enjoy!

I make vegetable kung pao with peanuts at least once a week. Josh loves it, I love it, and it’s quick and easy to make. I’m pretty sure I could make it with my eyes closed. I sauté two or three cups of celery and one chopped onion in 1-2 T sesame or olive oil. Cook until tender. I add fresh or powdered garlic, white pepper, a few pepper flakes, and one or two shakes of chinese five spice. Then I add about 2 T soy sauce, 2 T rice vinegar, 2 t sugar or honey, a shake of cornstarch and then 1/2 – 1 C. chicken of vegetable stock. Add more soy sauce or garlic to taste and about a cup of salted peanuts. Top off with chili sauce and serve with basmati rice.

Before dinner I did 40 minutes of Insanity and I swear during the whole thing I had Bob in my head yelling at me to work harder. I think it’s because of Gail. And you know what? I worked harder! Thanks Bob (and Gail.)

Today’s lunch reminds me of my mom and home.  I used Bobby’s Goulash as a base recipe because it’s the closest to my mom’s goulash.  My version only had one pound of ground beef, I used diced tomatoes and an open jar of spaghetti sauce, I replaced two pounds meat with 3 cups of diced cremini mushrooms, and I used worcestershire sauce instead of soy sauce.  Aside from the mushrooms, which remind her of snails, I think she’d approve!

I ate this meal almost three hours ago and I’m still sufficiently stuffed. It looks like dinner won’t be for a few more hours.

Time to get my Insanity on!

This morning’s breakfast: whole wheat toast with butter, local eggs (these guys were huge!), and a little fruit salad of cherries and clementines. I’m taking time to eat a filling breakfast in an attempt to eliminate the need for a snack before lunch. If I just eat cereal or something lighter, I’m hungry one or two hours later. Sometimes I’m just not satisfied and I find myself looking for something else to eat regardless of hunger. I’m thinking this will tide me over for at least four hours.

Eating three filling meals a day helps with clearing my mind. I don’t have to worry so much about eating when I’m not truly hungry because it’s more clear this way. And eating enough to keep me full for hours is so helpful.

I should note that I don’t think snacking is a bad thing for most people. In the past, snacking for me, leads to more snacking and eating without hunger. I’m finding that if my meal is filling, I really don’t need to eat between them.

Do you eat between meals?